Yesterday, Kelly at Kelly's Korner wrote a post about singleness and how difficult it can be as a girl to be single when you dream of having a family of your own. I am not looking to get married anytime in the near future, but I do look forward to being married & having a family someday. (Like, maybe in 10 years? Side note: I've been saying "in 10 years" for at least the last three years if not longer...)
Being in a relationship is not easy (from what I hear). But being single isn't a cake walk either. Especially if you are from the South and your friends start getting married and having families right after you graduate from college (or in some cases, even before that). It's easy to feel like you are being left behind, even if you can't imagine yourself being married right now. It's almost like when your friend gets a super cute hair cut and you get jealous and think that you want a hair cut like that for yourself. You know it wouldn't fit you and you are happy with your hair as it is, but it still makes you feel a little left out. Does that make sense? Bueller? Bueller?
Anyway, as I was saying, being single is not easy. But there are some great things about being single. Sometimes it is easier to focus on what you don't have in life than it is to focus on what you do have. Despite my complaining about singledom, there are tons of things that are awesome about being single. Here's a little list of the things I like best about being single. Chime in in the comments with what you love about being single!
You get lots of alone time.
And truth be told, I love alone time. I'm an introvert and just as extroverts feel energized by being around other people, I feel energized by getting some time to myself. I absolutely need down time in order to function.
You can eat whatever you want for dinner.
Kelly mentioned in her post yesterday that this is a plus of singlehood and I wholeheartedly agree. Nobody else depends on me for dinner. Last night I had hummus and pita chips. And it was delicious. A couple weeks ago I literally ate salsa for dinner (with chips- ya heard?). Again completely awesome.
You can pick up and move without drama.
It's true. I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with possibly breaking up a relationship when I left Louisiana for DC. I decided on what I wanted to do and I did it.
(Caveat: I know long distance relationships can work and I think that is great- I'm not saying that I wouldn't move if I were in a serious relationship, I'm saying this is a perk of being single- you don't have to really consider someone else's emotions.)
You can indulge in your S.S.B.
Remember the Sex and the City episode where the girls talk about their S.S.B.? It stands for "secret single behavior" and it's basically the things you would never feel comfortable doing in front of the opposite sex. In the episode, Miranda says her S.S.B. is sitting with her hands in those heated hand softening gloves and watching infomercials. Carrie says hers is making a stack of saltine crackers with jelly and eating them in the kitchen standing up and reading fashion magazines. I think mine might have to do with wearing really bad (but soooo comfortable) pajamas and watching bad reality television while indulging in a brownie or something else I should not be eating. I'll have to observe myself a little more to figure out my true S.S.B. I guess. Since I live alone it's kind of hard to spot!
You can go out for dinner or drinks with your girlfriends on a moment's notice.
You can pretty much do this when you have a boyfriend, too, but its not as easy when you become a wife or especially when you become a mom. If I'm in the mood, I can just call or text a friend and go out for drinks without giving it a second thought. That is awesome.
Your money is your money.
I'm not even going to pretend to know what it's like to have combined finances or financial responsibilities with someone else. Just the thought makes me sweat. All I know is that right now, I can do basically whatever I want with my money and I do not have to explain myself to anyone else. It rules.
You can go on vacation with your friends.
I just booked a ticket to go to Louisiana in October and see my friends and go to an LSU football game. I didn't have to ask anyone or think about anyone else. I'm free? I have the money for the ticket? I can go. Simple as that and I love it.
You can spend hours- yes hours- on the phone or skype talking to your friends.
I'm kind of scared of the day when I won't really have time to stay caught up with my friends. It is hard now with work & school, but I can only imagine how difficult it will be if I have a family competing for my attention someday. Yikes!
So, what do you love (or miss) about being single?
I was just speaking to a single friend about this today. One of the things I miss about being single is being able to really foster my girlfriendships. I just moved to a new area of the country and I'm much more tethered to the house right now with a husband and 2 kids. There's no meeting a new friend for coffee for hours of getting to know each other. If I do meet up with someone, we're constantly interrupted by feeding children, changing diapers and soothing criers. So that makes this new move less exciting and a little more lonely.
ReplyDeleteSo as a temporarily single lady, I have to say I've enjoyed getting caught up on TV, taking actual baths and reading in the tub, reading in general, working out, hanging out with gal pals and just generally spending time on ME! It's also no fun having to consult hubby about purchases (or having to deal with the reaction afterward if you don't!)
ReplyDelete@ Tara- I enjoy my girl friendships so much! I hope I'm able to keep them up someday when I have a family someday but I recognize completely that it is not easy at all!!!
ReplyDelete@ Laura- i can't imagine having to consult someone else about such things- but I"m sure Rene can't stay mad at you too long! He's so nice! :)